A bar owner decides to make his place a piano bar.
He hires a pianist, buys a baby grand, shuts down the bar and has it redecorated.
He talks to one of his friends and says, ”Man, I hope this place goes over, I’m kind of worried no one will come.”
The friend says, “Well, have a grand opening. Advertise and get the word out.”
The bar owner takes his advice, but then the day before opening, his piano player resigns and takes off to Chicago.
The barman tells his friend, “Oh Jesus, now what!? All that money for refurbishing and advertising, how can I open a piano bar without a pianist!?”
A guy walking by hears him yelling, looks in and says ”Excuse me, did you need a pianist? I’m a piano player, I play really god, and even write my own songs.”
The barman asks him to audition.
The pianist sits down at the baby grand and starts playing, and it’s a really good song.
The barman asks him if he wrote the song and the pianist says that he did.
The bar owner asks the name and the pianist says “I call that one, ‘Sit on my face, baby’.”
The barman is taken aback, but asks him to play another.
He plays a really good tune, but then says that the name of it is ‘I stepped in a pile of dog shit’.
He plays a few more, and they’re all great, but have foul names.
The barman says, “Look, I’ll give you the job on the condition that you never announce the name of your songs.”
The pianist agrees, and says he’ll be there for the grand opening.
Grand opening night is a great success, the piano player is very popular, and he jokes with the crowd, sips a little wine, really gets everybody into it.
At his break he goes into the rest room, and when he comes back, a lady says, “Mister, do you know your zipper’s down and your dick is hanging out?”
The pianist smiles and says, “Know it? Hell, I wrote it!”