“Titles of Books for Children, Teens and Parental Guides” That REALLY need to be written & published!
Parental Self Help: Teaching Your Kids How To Hitchhike
Kittens Can Fly! …Sort of?
Stranger Candys Not Soooo Bad
They’re Using My Middle Name, I must Be In Deep Shit!
Daddy Went For Smokes, 13 Years Ago
Ask Your Fucking Mother!
Job Hunting in Bangladesh for 6 Year Olds
Using Sharpies on the Wall & Other ways to Die Suddenly
I Don’t Think My Name is “Bastard”
Creative Ways to Open Mommy’s Happy Pills
Forks in the Outlet and Other Fun Experiments That Make Santa Bring You Extra Presents
Growling Dogs Are Happy Dogs
Lost in the Mall – Selling Yourself For A Fair Price to Strangers
Politeness, Respect, Curtesy and Other Myths of Modern Childhood
Mind Boggling Psychotic Mental Breakdowns & Tantrums Techniques for Kids
Dummies for Dummies: A parents guide to passing on your defected genes
Kids Are Like Everyone Else. ( subtitled: A Few Winners and a Whole Lot of Losers )
I Am NOT Prepared For ANYTHING! A Young Adults Book of Lame Excuses
Chores, Helping Out, and Being on my Best Behavior is for SUCKERS
Daddy Says Abortion Is Legal Until I’m 18!
Wait! You Mean I’m Not The Center of the Universe?
Something For Nothing, Bitter Hatred, Law Breaking, Racism, Feeling Sorry For Yourself, and Breeding Contempt Though Social Economic Injustice! ( How to Raise a LOVING OPEN MINDED ACCEPTING HYPOCRITICAL LIBERAL CHILD )
The Tide Pod Generation: We Can Make Socialism Work Because We’re Smarter
Play Dates and other Activities to Turn Your Child Into a Socially Repugnant Psychotic Lunatic
Sheltering Your Child from Reality and Acting Surprised When That Shit Blows Up In Your Face
Helicopter Moms Guide To Hovering Too Close & Chopping Your Functionless Kid To Shreds
Everyone Gets A Trophy and How to Fail Dismally At Everything Until You Snap and Shoot Up A School
How To Blame Your Parents For YOUR Failures and Other Spineless Ways To Get Sympathy From Other Losers Like Yourself.
LOOK! Maybe This Ones Just Stupid! A Parents Guide to Disappointment
I Didn’t Give You Fucking Trophy! A Single Unmarried Childless Persons Guide To Shooting Holes in THAT Pathetic Excuse
Blaming Guns, The Government, Movies, Music, Education, and Every-Fucking-One Else EXCEPT Your Shitty Lack of Parenting
Be A Teenage Mom, Because Your Mom’s Life is Shallow & Unfulfilled
Staying Oblivious & Disengaged For 18 Years and Taking Credit For Your Successful Adult Child
When I Use My Inside Voice It Keeps Saying “Kill the Cat!”
In Everyone Else’s Narrative, YOUR Kid is the The Fucking Idiot
“I’m Doing My Best” & 1000 Other Lies to Tell Yourself and Others
Dying Alone: 100’s of Dysfunctional, Delusional and Detrimental Activities That Will Scar Your Child For Life
My Chinese Overlords – A Kids Guide To The Future
Bert & Ernie, Just Get Married Already! It’s Legal Now!
Teaching Your Child How To Be A Subtle Racist While Claiming To Embrace Everyone’s Differences & Other Self Righteous Bullshit
It’s OK To Cut Yourself and Other Batshit Crazy Forms of Self Expression
I Brought You Into This World, I Can Take You Out of It, and Other Loving Death Threats
I Am A Transgender Teen, Accept Me For Who I Am! ( Even Though Apparently I Can’t Accept Me For Who I Am? )
Your Child is THE BEST! Just like the other 983,331,698 Diseased, Ignorant, Socially Stunted, Falsely Adored Mutant Children on Earth
How To Over React To Your Child’s Mediocre Unimpressive Minor Scholastic Achievements
You Can’t Get Pregnant on Tuesday’s
Coping With Your Unvaccinated 4 Year Old’s “Mid-Life” Crisis
Mommy Loves Me Because For Most of the Day I’m Someone Else’s Problem
…and my personal favorite,…
Was this HARSH?
You’re god damn right it was!
Go ahead, shoot the messenger! As long as this gets out there. Anyone pissed probably feels GUILTY b’cuz a lot of this made them think ( and probably should look up the definition of satire & sarcasm too) Anyone NOT pissed knows, even tho this is a GOOF, most, if not all of this is SPOT ON. Scary, but kinda spot on. YIKES!
Thank you that is all. Over.